October 22, 2009 at 8:00 am by Capitol Avenue Club under Atlanta Braves, Front Office
I meant to do this post a long time ago. I figured it’s about time for a humor piece and I’m running out of material rather quickly, so here goes. Peter Answers Frank Wren’s Chat Questions.
Wren Peter: Welcome, everyone. I’m already starting to regret agreeing to do this. Please don’t piss me off.
glenn1981: What pitchers are you targeting, if any, in the trade world?
Wren Peter: You think I’m going to tell you here? Don’t be lazy, go read some trade rumors.
proga91111: Are there any possibilities to have Tommy Hanson in the rotation for the start of next year?
Wren Peter: You know how much money that’ll cost down the road? In a word, no. He’s pitching at AAA until June 1.
atlbrave82: Is Jordan Schafer going to get a chance to play center field this spring for Atlanta?
Wren Peter: Considering the other options are Josh Anderson and Gregor Blanco, yes.
bigdaddy2: Has any thought being given to converting Tyler Flowers to a corner outfielder while still using him as the backup catcher every fifth day?
Wren Peter: You’ve obviously never seen this kid. He’s enormous and rater immobile. No, he ain’t going anywhere near the outfield. Plus, the kid hasn’t even reached AA yet.
atlbrave82: Is Mike Hampton willing to come back at a large discount since he did not play much and was paid very well for a few years?
Wren Peter: You think Mike Hampton gives a shit? Mike Hampton doesn’t owe us anything. If that glass house weren’t paid $15 million a year we’d have released him years ago.
atlbrave82: I have heard that Rafael Furcal would be willing to come back to Atlanta for a discount price. If we trade Yunel Escobar, is that a possibilty?
Wren Peter: First of all, do you work for me? If so, get the hell off this chat and do some work. If not, please don’t refer to the Braves as “we”. Secondly, we’re not trading Yunel.
Thanatos: What will the Braves’ budget be in 2009?
Wren Peter: It will be in spreadsheet form on my hard drive and on all of the accounting department’s employees’ hard drives. Oh, you mean the PAYROLL? That’ll be around what it was last year.
wdtr: What luck are you having at finding starting pitching since the Jake Peavy deal?
Wren Peter: What, you think I’m concealing the fact that I’ve acquired another pitcher? You’ll know shortly after I do. Hold your horses.
krickeys: What kind of inroads are being made with international scouting?
Wren Peter: Finally, a question I give a shit about. We have one of the strongest international scouting departments in the game. It’s been great being able to bring in exciting young players like Randall Delgado, Julio Teheran, and Christian Betancourt.
Thanatos: What was it like replacing what many consider a legend like John Schuerholz?
Wren Peter: If you’re asking me if there’s a ton of pressure, sure. But there is in any GM job.
marsh10: Hey Frank Peter, I’m going to work in a minute and wanted to know how the Peavy deal is going? And also, who are you looking at to man the outfield as a right-handed power hitter?
Wren Peter: Shut the hell up about Jake Peavy.
ozzy99: How will Tom Glavine and John Smoltz fit into next year’s rotation with the hopeful addition of some offseason pitching prospects along with young guns Jair Jurrjens and Jorge Campillo?
Wren Peter: Well, first of all, Jorge Campillo is 30 years old, so if you consider a “young gun” to be someone slightly past their playing prime, sure. Secondly, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz are on the wrong side of 40.
santori34: What are you doing about starting pitching and relievers? It was a serious problem last year.
Wren Peter: Have you been paying attention to a damn thing that’s been going on this off-season? Also, great observation. “It was a serious problem last year”. I’d like to offer you a job. You may be the smartest individual on the planet.
falcons360: Hey Frank Peter, when are we going to get a pitcher?
Wren Peter: Another one of my employees. Go back to work.
Thanatos: We have all heard how you are currently trying to acquire pitching. What will you be looking at upgrading on the offensive side?
Wren Peter: Easy, killer. One problem at a time. We’re doing pitching right now.
krice42: Mr. Wren Peter, what are your opinions on the use of instant replay?
Wren Peter: LITERALLY could not care less.
kylan: How much of what goes on between GMs this time of year is “smoke-screening”?
Wren Peter: What goes on between GM’s? None of it. What you hear about? It’s all bullshit.
Thanatos: What is the plan if Jeff Francouer struggles again next year? Will you try to acquire a solid outfielder to back him up?
Wren Peter: I’ll give Omar Minaya a call.
miguel561: What is the possibility that you could sign A.J. Burnett, knowing there are a lot of clubs after him?
Wren Peter: Depends on if the damn Yankees want him or not.
Thanatos: How long till Tommy Hanson is a Major League starting pitcher?
Wren Peter: Hmm, how long until June 1?
Thanatos: Which arbitration-eligible player do you see getting a large pay raise?
Wren Peter: Go read the wikipedia article on salary arbitration.
BBKing: Is Escobar the only Brave on the trading block?
Wren Peter: What is this, a fantasy league? There’s no such thing as a trading block. And if there were, Escobar wouldn’t be on it.
Thanatos: How did you get started in baseball?
Wren Peter: Wrote a hyper-critical blog for awhile.
Thanatos: What is your relationship with other GMs? Any that you prefer to avoid? Any that you would prefer to trade with?
Wren Peter: I prefer to trade with the dumb ones, so Omar Minaya, Ed Wade, and Dave Dombrowski field calls from me quite a bit.
Thanatos: Tyler Flowers is blooming in the AFL, what is the future for him since Brian McCann is behind the plate?
Wren Peter: Cool adjective there, “blooming”. To answer your question, not too bright with Atlanta.
atticus11: Have there been any new talks with the Padres about acquiring Peavy?
Wren Peter: Could I possibly make this more clear? No.
ukmatt2: Mr. Wren Peter, congratulations on a positive start to your time as GM. How close are we to putting out a starting team as of today? Do you think the likes of Matt Diaz and Casey Kotchman are players that will help us move forwards as a team?
Wren Peter Thank you, Matt. Do you think I could sell this to dictionary.com and file it under “loaded question”? Also, I don’t employ people in the UK, don’t refer to the Braves as “us”. And your question sucks, so I’m not answering it.
Thanatos: Eventually, Bobby Cox will retire. Is there a person that you and the Braves are grooming to take over for him when the time comes?
Wren Peter: Dude, you’ve asked like 1000 questions. RELAX.
onespeed: Frank Peter, I was hoping you could share your view as a GM on how much you rely on statistical analysis (sabermetrics) when trying to fill out your 25-man roster?
Wren Peter: I use it. It’s about a 60-40 split between scouting (60) and statistical analysis (40). Good question. Moderator, buy this man a drink. And buy me one too.
Thanatos: Have the Braves considered bringing Julio Franco back as a coach?
Wren Peter: We’ve considered a lot of things. Have you considered asking fewer questions?
gforce2: Have you received any indication from John Smoltz that he intends to pitch in 2009 ?
Wren Peter: Yes, he’ll try. I think it’s a mistake.
Thanatos: What percentage of Braves games do you attend in a season?
Wren Peter: I swear to god, if you ask 1 more question……
braves1524: What’s the chance of getting Ryan Ludwick this season?
Wren Peter: What’s the chance of me marrying Thanatos’s wife? He probably doesn’t appreciate that question. John Mozeliak doesn’t appreciate your question, either.
Thanatos: Who is your favorite ballplayer of all time?
Wren Peter: Greg Maddux
jakeyb1:Good day, Mr. Wren Peter. I was wondering about Anthony Lerew’s status. Is he still with the organization? If so, how is he progressing?
Wren Peter: Injured. And sucking. And likely to be released.
whirlic: Hi Frank Peter. I think you have been doing a great job. What are we going to do about getting some new pitching? If we could sign Burnett, I would be ecstatic. I wish you continued success.
Wren Peter: Another one of my employees on this chat. No wonder. Kissing ass didn’t get me to where I am now. I suggest you stop doing it and go do some real work.
jurrjens87: Have the Braves ever thought of maybe bringing Paul Byrd back and what’s the latest on Junichi Tazawa?
Wren Peter: Paul Byrd? Dude…. He’s OLD. Tazawa is in love with Daisuke Matsuzaka and will sign with the Red Sox.
preacherj: Frank Peter, thanks for taking my question. In looking for a power bat in the outfield, how much does left- vs. right-handed play into things? We have several lefties that could hit consecutively it seems. Does this affect if you look only for a right-handed bat?
Wren Peter: Considering the fact that our outfielders can’t hit at all, anything will do.
lumbajack: With $40 million plus to spend this offseason, is there pressure to have to spend that money so the budget doesn’t get cut the next year?
Wren Peter: I recommend an accounting class.
onespeed: Are you ever frustrated by the MLB scheduling, especially when it comes to playing so many games within your division as well as how the strength of schedule for different teams varies so much during Interleague Play?
Wren Peter: It is what it is.
preacherj: Any indication on who will be the closer going into 2009? Is that completely Bobby’s call?
Wren Peter: You’re the reason why the mainstream media keeps feeding this whole “closer” phenomenon. Shame on you.
Thanatos:Who will be the big free agents from the Braves next year? Will you attempt to lock any up long-term before next offseason?
Wren Peter: I wasn’t serious about the wife thing. But seriously, stop asking questions.
braves1090: I’ve heard a lot of trade rumors involving Chicago White Sox and former Braves outfileder Jermaine Dye. Have you had any conversations with the White Sox’s GM?
Wren Peter: Rumors are rumors for a reason. Don’t believe everything you read, kid.
atlbrave82: Mr. Wren Peter, I am from Atlanta, living in San Diego. I was wondering if Bobby Cox retires after this year, what are the chances of Terry Pendleton getting a shot as manager of the the Braves?
Wren Peter: OK, I’m answering every question that begins “what are the chances” with semi-arbitrary literal probability measures: 1 in 8.
preacherj: Mr. Wren Peter, any new word on how Smoltz/Glavine are doing this offseason?
Wren Peter: They’re doing well! Tom just had a birthday party for his son and Smoltz ate at Bones last night!
tpetrusa: Frank Peter, what are the chances, if any, that we might be dealing with K.C. for their newly acquired Coco Crisp as a center-field option for 2009?
Wren Peter: 1 in 50.
hunterb55: Is Manny Ramirez a possible Braves player?
Wren: He’s a free agent, so I guess that makes him a possibility by default. Realistically, though? No.
foo_g: Has it been discussed to move Chipper Jones to first base in an attempt to decrease the potential for injuries and ensure that his bat stays in the lineup? Does Casey Kotchman have the versatility to play some outfield under these circumstances?
Wren Peter: Kotchman is painfully slow, he can’t play OF. And moving Chipper to 1st wouldn’t solve the injury problem, it would exacerbate it.
koolmap: What are the chances that we can get two top-notch, front-of-the-rotation guys this offseason?
Wren Peter: 1 in 4.
snealinda: We haven’t seen much action in the free-agent/trading market with the Braves yet? Can we expect some type of movement soon?
Wren Peter: Calm down, buddy.
atlbrave82: Have there been any recent talks with the Padres about Peavy, and are they really asking for too much or is it the no-trade clause that is the concern?
Wren Peter: OK, that’s it. One more Peavy question and the chat is done.
Thanatos: Will you attempt to acquire a shortstop in the offseason, or trust that Escobar will not be traded?
Wren Peter: You think I go about my business as, “I’ll acquire player X in case I trade player Y later”? No. It’s not like we’ll get to Orlando and I’ll all the sudden say, oh shit! I forgot to get a SS! No, if I trade Escobar, I’ll plan accordingly. But I’m not trading Escobar, so I don’t know why I even answered this question. Or why the moderator posted it.
ajax1031: Do you really think that resigning Hampton is a good idea? Don’t we need to get away from injury-prone players?
Wren Peter: ajax1031, whoever you are, you’re fired.
mattress25: Mr. Wren Peter, are there any prospects in the Minors that are being overshadowed by Tommy Hanson, Jordan Schafer, etc., who may surprise us and may make the team out of Spring Training, as Gregor Blanco did in 2008?
Wren Peter: We’ll see, my friend. If I knew the answer, what would be the point of actually having Spring Training?
todd13: Do you think the Braves might want Brian Fuentes?
Wren Peter: Hold on, let me ask the Braves. OH WAIT. I’m the GM! In that case, no.
rbt778: Kelly Johnson is a natural left fielder and a pretty good No. 7 hitter. How about Dye or Ordonez trade for power bat and let Hernandez or Blanco go for the trade?
Wren Peter: OK, I don’t even know where to begin with this one. I think the moderator should be fired for letting this one through. Kelly Johnson is a natural SS, not a natural LF’er. The second sentence doesn’t make any grammatical sense and I don’t really know what the fuck you’re trying to say.
Thanatos: What is the hardest thing about being a general manager in the MLB?
Wren Peter: Chatting with morons like you. And what did I tell you about asking more questions?
mattress25: Mr. Wren Peter, how do you see the bullpen stacking up for 2009 with Mike Gonzalez closing and hopefully getting Rafael Soriano and Peter Moylan healthy?
Wren Peter: As long as Bobby doesn’t completely abuse it, we’ll be fine.
snealinda: We haven’t seen any action from the Braves yet this offseason. Should we be concerned as fans that we will not make many moves to improve?
Wren Peter: Yeah. Be concerned. Be very concerned. Or you could just be patient and let me do my job. Either way, it’s not going to effect me, so I don’t care.
Wren Peter: Thanks for wasting my time. Buy tickets!